Thanks to Bertollis®...

I'm now an Italian chef! In fact, when I pull Bertollis® brand frozen Italian dinners out of the freezer and plop them into boiling water, I get a a flavor that's better than any 5-star Italian restaurant could match - and in the comfort of my own home, at a fraction of the price! The only difference is the obvious superiority of my own Bertollis® brand frozen Italian dinners!

I would like to express my disdain and ill will to all the Italian chefs who have been robbing me blind all these years with their overpriced food. I hope you can see me scraping the bottom of my chin with the fingernail side of my open hand, because I'm doing it just for you, Italian chefs! Yeah, I'm talking to you! You want a piece of me? You want a piece of my Bertollis® brand frozen Italian dinner? Too bad, because it's too delicious to share. Especially with the likes of you, you overpriced Italian food-mongers! So go back to your poker game in your businessless Italian restaurant kitchen! No one needs you, now that we have Bertollis® brand frozen Italian dinners!

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