Luke Skywalker and Obi-Wan Kenobi under investigation...
for war crimes; specifically, burning the bodies of Jawas during the Jawa-sand people war almost thirty years ago in the Dune Sea, an area near the Jundland Wastes on Tatooine. Expert reporter Choskin Skeggle, a sand person who protested the war, caught the act on video. Skeggle points out that the burning Jawas appear to be pointed west, towards the Jawa holy city of Anchorhead, which leads Skeggle to believe the burning was an intentional act of psychological warfare.
Kenobi, who is believed to have outranked Skywalker, has been suspected of psychological warfare in other incidents before the alleged war crimes. Skywalker later joined the Rebel Alliance, a terrorist organization operating from Dantooine, Yavin, Hoth, and elsewhere in the galaxy. Most notably, Skywalker is suspected of participating in the terror attack which destroyed Death Star I, a mobile star base used for peaceful purposes. The attack killed approximately 31.5 million civilians. Skywalker is also thought to be behind the infamous "Sail Barge" bombing more than twenty years ago, an attack believed to be aimed at Jabba, a beloved member of the minority Hutt community, which is often accused by the RA of "gangsterism." Skywalker is even believed to be connected to the attack on Death Star II, though his friends are fond of saying "he wasn't on [the Death Star] when it blew." His detractors point out that such an assertion, while obviously true, proves nothing. Kenobi died shortly after the Jawa incident.
It is unclear whether Kenobi and Skywalker were themselves the ones who killed the Jawas, or whether they were already killed by sand people before Kenobi and Skywalker, then independent contractors for the sand people military, were called in to conduct psychological warfare against the Jawa insurgency. Given Skywalker's subsequent pattern of violence, authorities are not ruling anything out.
Skywalker is apparently an orphan, raised by moisture farmers Owen and Beru Lars, who were relatively quiet members of the Tatooine community, until an attack by the Jawa insurgency destroyed their home, killing them both. This attack took place on the same day as the alleged war crimes, and is believed by some to be the catalyst for Skywalker joining the RA. Skywalker, as an interesting side note, is rumored to be the biological son of Darth Vader, one of the most controversial figures of the Empire. Vader himself is on the record as telling Skywalker "I am your father," but it is some believe this was meant as a taunt, since Vader appeared to be trying to kill Skywalker at the time. Kenobi's family background is even more mysterious than Skywalker's, but he is known to have been a member of the now-defunct Jedi Council, a secret society led by the controversial "Master" Yoda. Also, Kenobi might be related to 18th-19th century Jewish "fence" Ikey Soloman.
Certain members of the sand people's Boesch administration are still under investigation for allegedly outing one of their own raiders whose spouse was an outspoken critic of the policy of attacking Jawas allegedly for their droid parts. This has nothing to do with the rest of the story, we just wanted to remind you of how evil the Boesch administration is.
- taken from the GP wire -
Backlog Bob
Kenobi, who is believed to have outranked Skywalker, has been suspected of psychological warfare in other incidents before the alleged war crimes. Skywalker later joined the Rebel Alliance, a terrorist organization operating from Dantooine, Yavin, Hoth, and elsewhere in the galaxy. Most notably, Skywalker is suspected of participating in the terror attack which destroyed Death Star I, a mobile star base used for peaceful purposes. The attack killed approximately 31.5 million civilians. Skywalker is also thought to be behind the infamous "Sail Barge" bombing more than twenty years ago, an attack believed to be aimed at Jabba, a beloved member of the minority Hutt community, which is often accused by the RA of "gangsterism." Skywalker is even believed to be connected to the attack on Death Star II, though his friends are fond of saying "he wasn't on [the Death Star] when it blew." His detractors point out that such an assertion, while obviously true, proves nothing. Kenobi died shortly after the Jawa incident.
It is unclear whether Kenobi and Skywalker were themselves the ones who killed the Jawas, or whether they were already killed by sand people before Kenobi and Skywalker, then independent contractors for the sand people military, were called in to conduct psychological warfare against the Jawa insurgency. Given Skywalker's subsequent pattern of violence, authorities are not ruling anything out.
Skywalker is apparently an orphan, raised by moisture farmers Owen and Beru Lars, who were relatively quiet members of the Tatooine community, until an attack by the Jawa insurgency destroyed their home, killing them both. This attack took place on the same day as the alleged war crimes, and is believed by some to be the catalyst for Skywalker joining the RA. Skywalker, as an interesting side note, is rumored to be the biological son of Darth Vader, one of the most controversial figures of the Empire. Vader himself is on the record as telling Skywalker "I am your father," but it is some believe this was meant as a taunt, since Vader appeared to be trying to kill Skywalker at the time. Kenobi's family background is even more mysterious than Skywalker's, but he is known to have been a member of the now-defunct Jedi Council, a secret society led by the controversial "Master" Yoda. Also, Kenobi might be related to 18th-19th century Jewish "fence" Ikey Soloman.
Certain members of the sand people's Boesch administration are still under investigation for allegedly outing one of their own raiders whose spouse was an outspoken critic of the policy of attacking Jawas allegedly for their droid parts. This has nothing to do with the rest of the story, we just wanted to remind you of how evil the Boesch administration is.
- taken from the GP wire -
Backlog Bob
posted by weblogbob83 at 5:27 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home