Op-ed: At Least the Title is Right

        According to MSN®, George Lucas® has released the title of the next Star Wars® movie. And let me tell you, it is an improvement. (That last word didn't really call for italics, but I like using them because I can.) Now at least we know not everything about the movie will be a disaster. Which is a relief. The last two movies in the series (or perhaps the first two?) were so bad, they ought to bring back MST3K® just for Episodes I® and II® of Star Wars®. This is a far cry from the three that were realeased from 1977-1983. It's hard to believe that the same person was responsible. The Phantom Menace­­® was bad enough as a title, but the movie was worse; it was less interesting than Willow®.
        As with Attack of the Clowns (name changed to avoid lawsuit), I will not see the third prequel if I have to pay more than $1 to do so, but I may be pleasantly surprised with it if it's as much superior to its immediate forerunners as its title is to theirs.

Backlog Bob

Important Message on the Theory of Everything

Important Message:

Today's dissertation on the Theory of Everything has been cancelled pending further notice. The guest blogger with the doctorate in quantum something or other has been, um, ill. And though he is definitely very smart, he can't come to the computer right now. And he definitely exists, and in no way is made up or anything like that. It would be silly even to think that.

This is in no way an attempt to deceive anyone or make my blog appear more important than it really is. We just wanted to balance it out by getting some really smart, academic type of dude to write something educational or whatever, but he got really sick and couldn't be here toady, I mean today.

Bye everybody.

Backlog Bob

The Theory of Everything

Tomorrow I will post the Theory of Everything.

In doing so, I will answer all your questions.

But with guesses; after all, it is just a theory.

Let's not be too greedy, okay?

Backlog Bob

For Security Reasons, This Message Will Be Posted in Code

A14;
 
S23-G9560:"
 
Abu-ba-dabbu
                                                       18I, 9fR+
5%-924$
 
Accelerated growth hormone.
 
Goblack Obb.
 
P.S. Don't do this, Dave.

Backlog Bob's New Trousers

Well, it seems that ol' Backlog Bob gots himself sportin' a new look. Yeeha! Please opine.

Day Two: Found Water, Now Where Is Rubber Ducky?

This is in response to CateThePoet's comment on Prologue. Would you like to post a poem? And wouldn't it be 'CateThePoetess'? I used the British quotation-mark style there because the American one just doesn't make sense.
 
When surrounded by water, you're more likely to worry about drowning than about dehydration, but doesn't it make more sense to find the rubber ducky first, and THEN draw the bath? And what colour of crayon ought one to use to draw a bath, anyhow?
 
Backlog Bob

Day Two: Without Water, I Will Surely Die. Must Find Water!

This is in response to looseingit's comment about part J - that's a nice sentiment. Please believe that this is not a rhetorical question: how many people read your blog? I really do want to know. In fact, where can I find your blog?
 
Backlog Bob

Backlog Bob's Blog, Prologue

Hi everybody! It seems that these blasted little things are supposed to be read bottom-to-top, at least if chronological order is desired. But for those of you who prefer such things as Zippy the Pinhead, try reading the first four words of each "post" starting at the top and working your way to the bottom. Then repeat the title of the page as a question over and over until your readers are either confused or bored. Then explain how pop culture is ruining pop culture with the help of a giant dog statue that was heretofore used for advertising. Then put your right ear in and shake it all about.

That's what blogging is all about, folks.

Backlog Bob's Blog, part A

I apologize for that last posting, everyone. I know you have every right to a self-confident, even brazen attitude in your blogs, and apologizing and humbling oneself is just unacceptable to the masses seeking entertainment. I am fully responsible for this unfortunate posting, and I will do everything I can to overcome my inherent inadequacies, and do something reasonably satisfactory in the future.

Backlog Bob's Blog, part %

I apologize for that last posting. I was under the unfortunate misconception that it would be funny. In retrospect, there were no redeeming qualities in the wretched little thing. If you just bear with me, I will make every effort to put something interesting or informative on the "blog" at some point.

Backlog Bob's Blog, part J

As I type this it strikes me what incredible vanity a person must have in order to think that his random, aimless musings would interest or benefit anyone else.

On a completely unrelated note, I'm going to see if I can make this a subscriber webpage.

Backlog Bob's Blog, part I

Well, I have very little idea what I'm doing, but I haven't yet entered my credit card # or my street address, so I must be doing okay. I am about to click the orange "Publish Post" button.