Thursday, November 30, 2006

Nearly 3 million reasons to forget the Prego® and go with the Purina®

From the AP:

"A black firefighter who stood to collect nearly $3 million over a prank involving dog food in his spaghetti is at the center of a political and racial furor in Los Angeles[.]"

Ignore the poor construction of that sentence for a moment (and trust me, it gets worse after the comma I mercifully replaced with a period). $3 million. 3 million dollars! 3 million dollars! Someone please put dog food in my spaghetti as soon as you can. Please? Pretty please with Alpo® on top? (Actually, don't - I am not black, so I probably wouldn't get $300, let alone a sum that is written alphanumerically under standard rules of grammar.)

This hilarious article goes on to say that this firefighter had been the perp of other pranks, including some highly personal, unwanted hygiene for another firefighter. He admits to it, but says (I'm paraphrasing) that he did it out of love. The dog food thing, on the other hand, was a matter of hate. Isn't Los Angeles a ways south of the California city where men are seen as heroes for lovingly depilating another man's (uh...) particulars?

Okay, sorry about that, but that was all a bit too surreal to read and not write about.

Backlog Bob

Saturday, November 11, 2006

An ABC studio meeting

"What classic movie concept have we not yet ripped off to make a crappy TV show?"
"Groundhog Day."
"Should we make it a comedy or a drama?"
"Comedies don't get ratings anymore."
"Maybe we could make it a reality show!"
[Gunshots, Idiot Writer dies]
"Okay, drama it is."
"What should we call it?"
"Rodent Day!"
[More gunshots, Another Idiot Writer dies]
"De Ja Vu!"
"That's going to be a Denzel Washington movie. We don't want viewers to be confused. And we don't want to be sued."
"How about Day Ja Vu - you know, with an 'a' and a 'y'?"
"How about I put details of your affair on Chuck's teleprompter tonight?"
"How about Daybreak?"
"Hm, it's definitely punchy."
"And meaningless."
"Yes, punchy and meaningless. Let's get Taye Diggs and start filming."
"What about the writing?"
[Room fills with laughter]
"Greg, you are a cut-up. If we ever start doing comedy again, you should be involved. Oh, and you're fired."

Backlog Bob

P.S. I know this is kind of late. Both of my fanatical readers probably expected me to do this weeks ago.