Saturday, January 29, 2005

Some thoughts on The Ring®

No, this isn't about Wagner. I'm just celebrating the upcoming release of the sequel to the horror flick "The Ring®" by presenting some of the loose ends (questions asked or implied but left answered) from the original. Hopefully, these questions will be answered in the sequel.

1. Was Samarra exercising an ironic sense of humour by using the object of her torture (TV) to kill others, or is she just being hypocritical?

2. What's up with the centipede?

3. For that matter, what in the well is that thing coming out of that guy's mouth in the video?

3b. Get it: what in the well?

4. What does Samarra have against white people? Surely it's not a coincidence that all of her victims are white.

5. Didn't the scientists studying Samarra at the psychiatric hospital notice how fast she was moving around her room? And judging by the clock in the background, she also has some sort of time warp ability. No effort was made to explore these issues in the movie.

6. Are Samarra and the protagonist's son potentially an item? I think they'd make a great couple.

7. How did Samarra's father continue to pursue Jason Bourne after frying himself in the bathtub?

8. After our protagonist and her son break the curse, do they return to their normal, photogenic selves, or do they still have that Star Trek extra look in all their pictures? I think it would be kind of neat to have that going on, and besides, you could rob convenience stores, and they'd never be able to prove it was you.

9. If Samarra turns on somebody else's TV and then kills them, who's responsible for the resultant electric bill?

10. And what about Noah's downstairs neighbours - are we to believe they suffered water damage because of his viewing indiscretion?

11. If Samarra can make water, flies, and even herself come out of a recording into tangible, real life, could she do that with other things too? If not, mightn't she at least consider partnering with Sony or some such company to end such disasters as droughts and fly shortages?

12. [Loose ends 12-13c were removed in the wee hours of Saturday, May 14, 2005 after further review revealed Samarra's father and the evil colonel in the X-men to be two completely different people. What in the world was I thinking? -Bob]

13. (See 12 above)

13b. (Please see #12)

13c. (Look at 12 already! Gosh!)

14. In addition to being needlessly cruel, hasn't well-dropping proven to be one of the least efficient ways of disposing of demented demon-children?

15. Do your fingernails regrow if you're a demon ghost tormenting the living?

15b. Would one of my readers be so kind as to check that one out by closely examining the scene where Samarra kills Noah for any sign of fingernail regrowth?

16. Has Samarra ever considered wood-burning murals for a living - if you'll pardon the expression?

17. This isn't really a loose end, but why in the name of all that is good and wholesome can't we just watch things like TV classic Have Gun - Will Travel®?

17b. Did Samarra ever watch TV classic Have Gun - Will Travel® up in that old loft?

17c. Would Samarra have turned out okay and not killed anyone if she had more wholesome TV shows to watch, such as TV classic Have Gun - Will Travel®?

Just some things for the makers of The Ring 2® to consider. . .

Backlog Bob

P.S. If either of my readers has anything to add to this list, (s)he should feel free to list it in the comments for this post.

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